On a slightly more humorous note, I will also need to work on keeping my hands still in discussions and introduction. This will be difficult since I'm used to being really expressive with my hands...I've had several people compliment me on hand gestures during presentations, but occasionally somebody will say it's too distracting. It's almost an automatic thing due to being involved in theatre and All-State Speech in high school when I had to be consciously aware of my hand movements, which converted into an autonomic thing as well. Working on keeping my hands still though will still be beneficial since we need to practice that for Cyclone Aide as well.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Relationships and Excessive Hand Gestures
Due to recent events in my life and discussion in class today, I did come to a realization about an aspect of myself which I definitely need to actively work on. During small-group discussion today when Amy, Lauren, and I were talking about building relationships I become self-aware of the fact that during discussion I was focusing my attention primarily on Lauren and also oftentimes interrupting Amy or speaking before she had a chance to speak. I apologize for that Amy...I told you I didn't necessarily mean to, but I have noticed consistently across situations I have similar traits. I have a friend who is more introverted than most of my other friends and I oftentimes will dominate conversations with him around and won't take the time to get feedback from him. I also do primarily focus on my more active, extroverted friends and will sometimes neglect the ones who aren't so outspoken, possibly because with everything I'm doing, the less outspoken people I know aren't so salient. I do know however when to turn this off, and have done so in the past when I've been in a leadership position. When I was a Team Leader for Destination Iowa State I actually did focus more on my more introverted students and tried to allow them time to speak and give input. In the past when I've ran projects I would normally try to make sure the quieter people could speak up as well. When I am self-aware of the need to allow introverted/more quiet people time to express themselves, I do so efficiently. However, in non-leadership oriented settings or when I'm not actively thinking about it, I will tend to focus on that which is more salient. Perhaps by actively engaging in allowing others the time to speak and be heard, it will become an unconscious autonomic process.
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Austin,
ReplyDeleteI think that noticing we do things that we would like to change is the first step, so good job! We extroverts like to talk, and I totally understand about sometimes overshadowing people quieter than us.
I think you are a great leader and what you have to say is very important! Because you are so involved with DIS, Stars, etc.- I think you'll be great at helping the rest of us be better ISU leaders too.
As for the hand gestures- your intro last Wednesday was superb! :)
Austin I too have a problem of "dominating" conversations. If we are having a group discussion or just talking with friends I too notice myself taking over/interrupting people sometimes. However, a thing I try to do to make sure that even the quietest people get a chance to talk is specifically ask what they think of the situation. You kind of put them on the spot which they might not like, however you get them engaged in the conversation and allow to speak if they feel that other people wont let them. Some of my friends are just like me, and asking someone that's being more reserved tends to let the whole group know that it is there turn to speak and everyone should listen to what they have to say.
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